Christmas has been postponed.

And so this is Christmas, For weak and for strong, For rich and the poor ones, The world is so wrong, And so happy Christmas, For black and for white, For yellow and red ones, Let's stop all the fight, A very merry Christmas, And a happy New Year, Let's hope it's a good one, Without any fear

soo my christmas will occur on the normal day except i dont get presents until thursday, which i have decided i am still allowed to be angry about as i am still a teenager until this coming august. hooah.

ahh well here i am in new jersey. their is no snow gracing the ground, no signs of holiday cheer just some very bad wind and rain. its actually quite depressing. i wish i was home in connecticut, but you and i both know their is absolutely no way out of this so oh well.

i miss sean. thats a given but i just missing being around him and i know i am not going to see him for a while longer which makes me sadder. is that possible.

anyways i hope you have a very happy christmas. whoever & wherever you are

last day of work.

dude, but for serious wow.

december is probably the worst month ever invented.
thats my story && im sticking to it.

today is my last day of work. that makes me rather happy because although i love this job it has to be the most boring/amusing thing ever. i mean yesterday me & john sat here attempting to beat solitaire (the right way) for like 2 hours. and laughing about the size of sweatpants. how weird is that.

im so ready to get the fuck out willimantic.
im torn today. im torn everyday. but moreso today.
i love this place, i love this school. Easterns main goal in life may be to piss me off and want me to leave but they are failing miserably because no matter how much this school pisses me off i still don't want to leave and thats because of two reasons: one i actually do enjoy it here - the enviroment etc. and two im so afraid of where i would go if i left and what would happen if i went somewhere else and failed.

so i admit it fear is keeping me here. ive got bigger shit going on.

i dont think i've been this excited for christmas since i was little, i dont even care that im going to have to go to dirtyy jerz. And the only one more shocked by that statement was my psychologist. im a weird point in my life. im kinda actually pumped to see my family. anddd im pumped for presents haha. gilmore girls on dvd & veronica mars.. mmmmmmmmmmm okay stoppp.

no but for serious. december sucks....

six years later. six years later. i want to throw every bottle in my room away and never touch that shit again. i dont even know why i do it. im so disgusted with myself lately im so tempted to give it all up. and do what right. be sad sober claire. not that drinking keeps me happy. and not that i would ever get in a car and drive while under the influence. its just the principal of it all. six years ago, she died cause some asshole got in the car after he drank. how stupid is that. i mean she was there and then she wasnt. it was so. wrong.

im changing my prescription to celexia. obviously im waiting until after christmas cause its stronger and obviously im slightly nervous but inevitably the goal is to get better. get better. PLEASE god let me get better.

sometimes i get so numb i just feel the need to get beat up so i can feel. obviously i ignore the urge i just i hate the feeling. the one right before you cry. not that i ever suceed. but when you know you're about to even before the tears well up. and then i push it down. and i go numb. amazing isnt it. after years of trying to find new ways to go numb im fighting to feel. ahh the irony of the whole situation.

okay no but for serious stop being so emo.

im sorry.

In other news my roomates still suck, as of today at 9:00am i am no longer poor, i get to go home today. im probably gonna go see corinne tonight. andd iduno.

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. time is always moving, and you need to move with it. being stuck in the past is no way to live. Chin up, smile plastered on your face. hey kid, everybodies watching

&&& this is where i am at now...

i live with this awesome girl. except she has like just a few thousand issues with me. and refuses to talk to me about it.. i do not attack her. but she gets flustered and tells me off. like i did something wrong.
i do not enjoy confrontation i do not enjoy you always feeling the need to get your way

i want things to work out.

but this is what it comes down to. i need to either go home. or move out... because im a going to kill her.
i have so many things going on in my life. that literally every morning i wake up and have to convince myself to keep going to keep trying to search and find some reason to keep living. and having to wake up everyday in this enviroment makes the fight almost seem not worth.


im at breaking point. and it seems she wants to just push me off the edge of the cliff. and laugh while fall all the way down. and if i try to tell her how i feel. she snaps back. and then within a minute and half DOESNT want to talk about it anymore. and then i feel like the bad person

today im officially poor... i could call home for money but its my own fault. i volunteered to make everyone who makes me feel like shit christmas dinner. it was good dinner they enjoyed but they still made me hate myself more.

so i have 5 dollars to my name until thursday morning when my direct deposit goes through and in the process of buying everything to make them dinner i have no food in the house except for half a bag of pizza rolls, honey nut cheerios and apple sauce. needless to say im fucked until thursday butttt ohhh well right.

cause its my fault end of story.

crying is weakness so i cut. probs not the best method but its not often and its not deep.

if i go home i fail. i let down everyone in my life.
and no dont give me that itll all be okay.
theyll look at me differently.
i think about EVERYONE.
and i cant do it.

soo i up my depression medication hope my twitch calms and hope for the best.

i just hate that in the process of all this im hurting the few lights in my life. like me & parents are actually close and me & sean are perfect. but i cant only push myself so hard to smile and act like im fine. and i hate complaining to sean. because he just feels bad and then i feel bad.

needless to say im fucked either.

YAY!

Post Script.

i tell you what type of flowers she likes. and you call me a prick because your on speaker phone even tho it doesnt matter because shes no where around..

makes complete sense.
i have the best friends ever.


jump.

busy busy busy

im currently running in circles... figurativly speaking.
after tomorrow im basically done. as in done for the semester. DAMN this semester went fast.

anyway todays new topic is.... DUH DUH DUH DUH (rob will be proud of me for this one)

Free Loaders

I have a job.
you should get one too.

If i am hungry and want dinner i make dinner for me & 3 other people. thats really obnoxious because food isnt cheap. why is it that you feel the need to eat all my food. and then my personal favorite about the whole thing is you just throw you dishes in the sink and leave. no im not trying to be mean cause were friends and all and you have made me a few meals but for serious. i cant afford this anymore.

Friday i am making christmas dinner. i am also buying christmas dinner and from what i hear everyones going to drink my beers. beers are expensive from now on every party will be BYOB and if you cant pay you cant drink cause i cant afford. my car broke down you all helped me push it. but now you all make me feel like i suck because my car isnt here to drive you to walmart. so i put gas in your car. i have no problem because your driving my ass around but damnnn. whose gonna drive.. oh yeah you cant dirty look. did i want my car to break down no. did i ever ask or take gas money from you no. lay off.

i know im sounding mean but damnn for serious its getting out of hand. and then when im making a shopping list you want to invite more people. i said id make christmas dinner if i wanted to work at the soup kitchen id volunteer theirs already like 12 people coming.

i never spend money on myself unless its food and even then its not for me. im tired of having to worry about if ill have enough money to spend on something i want to do because im too busy spending money on you. GET A JOB! and if your trying i understand im not talking to you. but seriously COMMON!

Beyond that my roomate is going to date one of my best friends. im okay with it if she wasnt paranoid. he talks to me about when hes gonna do stuff and then she freaks out cause i know and she doesnt. so inevitably me & alec wont be friends anymore cause i dont want her on my ass to know stuff that i didnt want to know in the first place. and my ass your coming down to see "me" over break like im beyond cool with the fact that you want to see alec i mean hell im beyond accomidating you im inviting you and like 3 friends to my friends new years party so you and alec can be together. and im okay with it but dont lie and pretend your coming to see me it just makes you sound stupid. && beyond that NO ONE IS GONNA CATCH US DRINKING! we got one knock on the door one like 3 months ago and nothing since PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop freaking out i freak out enough on my own. and your freaking out doesnt help mine.

i cant wait to go home. and hangout with my friends who have money and can do stuff without me paying i cant wait to live at home where my parents are paying for my food. im soooo overrr this.

this world will never be what i expected.

a whole bunch of random thoughts...

i am tired.
i am tired of whats wrong
i am tired of sadness
i am tired of twitching
i am tired of thinking about death
i am tired of dreaming of bad things happening
i am tired of thinking about every possible thing going wrong
i am tired of tired
i am tired of their actually being something wrong.
i am tired of having to convince myself i should keep going
i am tired of lying down and praying to god their is infact blood running thru my veins and that im living.
i am tired of complaining...i am annoying arent I!?

i used to think i had full control over myself. this i have learned is not true at all. but i dont want to be like this anymore. i want to be happy because i should be happy I have NOTHING to be sad about... i mean i cant even bring myself to be content. i find myself to be so depressing it makes me more depressed. whats up with that!??



- the semesters almost over and its going really well. next semester should be even better im going to learn how to play piano thats exciting. oh well back to work.

where the blacktop ends..

i've been thinking... oh how i've been thinking.

i sit here today after a fabulous weekend and an even more fabulous sleep. like i just slept for 10 1/2 hours it was much needed and i feel soooooo good right now.

i suffer from anxiety. its hard for people to understand what i mean when i say that. like when you say your depressed everyone gets it your sad all the time but anxious they go oh well what are you anxious about.. but its not that simple. when i first got to school my normal ticks ad twitchs starting becoming more noticable to me. the usual click of the pen snap of rubber bands leg shaking & nervousness increased a lot. i just kept telling myself i was having a little sophmore slump nervousness and it would pass. But here i am a couple months later im taking zoloft now to help with my nervous tick and getting counseling. did i ever think it would get this bad?! nope not in a million years. but it did. i was twitching calculating steps it was like a bad version of worst case scenerio i had back up plans in my head for anything that could happen JUST IN CASE and i dreamt about everything going wrong all the time. talking to people wasnt happening. i snapped way more easily and the simple shrug of the shoulders could lead me to believe you were angry at me making me feel depressed.

i started on zoloft actually wow i started on zoloft a month ago. since taking it my situation hit rock bottom and is currently working its way back up. when i first started i was on 50mg to see if any side effects hit me, luckily for me they didnt so after two weeks on it i was upped to 100 mg. and thats when things got ugly a few days in the drug hit me with a popular side effect. feeling more depressed. i was crying over everything i had no drive to live. i thought of a million and one ways to kill myself. and i even harmed myself. in hopes that this wasnt really me and just a side effect i lowered myself back down to 50 mg and contacted my psychiatrist. after a few days away from the dosage the feelings subsided. but here i am still in a weird place. after meeting with my psychiatrist we decided to just keep me at 50 mg because that was making a difference and sometime it takes these types of drugs 6 to 8 weeks to really see a change. so here i am.

its hard for me now because on the 100 mg i was completely anxiety free i wasnt ticking i wasnt having those thoughts i was paying attention in class not worrying about what could go wrong and to know that thats how i could be feeling right now its hard to go back to my constant ticking state. i notice it more now.

when i first told my mom about what was going on with me her reaction was do you want to come home you could come home you know that wouldnt be bad at all. i was so against it because to me that would be failing but now the more i think about it im actually considering. its a day to day fight. i LOVE my roomates i love my school. but the anxiety i feel from living with people that yeah i know but i dont really KNOW. it adds to it really badly. not to mention i feel even worse because it puts stress on them. me breaking down am i having a good day or a bad day. i can tell i see the strain it puts right now. but i dont want to leave. iduno its like a toss up. the comforts of home might really help me right now. and i could go to southern for a semester but at the same time. i feel like that would just be giving up. its just this is a lot harder to get thru then i thought it would be.

thanksgiving is coming up and that should be good ill get to see my family itll be sad because my grandfather wont be there. and im really nervous for my family to see me. my extended family doesnt know what im going thru and although i dont like to admit this. they add to it. the hows schools who are you dating and of course the ever popular do you eat anything new this year. or is that resturant claire approved. i know they mean no harm by it but it makes me soooo nervous. im ticking right now sitting here typing about it. and id rather they didnt see me break down because that would be the lowest of the low. sometimes when its really bad i have trouble breathing and then have to leave where i breakdown and breathe heavily. and cry. id rather keep those moments to myself as much as possible but i suppose i have no choice but to hope for the best.

...

some days im so numb i wonder if their really is blood moving through my veins.

do you know what it feels like to not feel at all... its painful

i start on zoloft tomorrow. please god let this help.

Me & Sean

So i met this kid at girlscout camp when i was 16. and he was amazing . and then i liked him for just about 4 years. we have been the best of friends, literally.. hes always been there when i needed him & we've always had this chemistry. But he never liked me .. like that. so i just stopped mentioning that i liked him and was just as happy to have him as a friend. this past weekend he came to visit me at school. and it was such weird timing because i was like on the verge of giving up on him. and then.. it happened. and it was perfect. like beyond perfect.
i was in my room cleaning some stuff up so people could come in and hang out in there and he walks in and hes like you know i love you right? and im like of course i know, and i love you too and he goes. no like i love you claire and i want to be with you....

and i turned around and proceeded to lay on my bed & cry a little and as him to not fck with me like that. and mid-babble he was like claire just shut up and kiss me.

it was like a movie. but better. and now were together. && truthfully i dont know if this is going to work or not because hes a half hour away and we only see each other on weekends but im willing to jump and take this chance and he is to. and im happy about it. and i hope it lasts a while.

im not completely happy with my life. but im in the process of fixing it. so i can really enjoy the whole me & sean thing.

i just. its good. it is good.

1993...

This weekend I am going to pull of another one of my.. how did you get so many people in here and keep the noise down so you don't get in trouble... parties.

Im rather excited about it. why? well the last one was alecs birthday so its been a while since I was even allowed to pull something like this off. PLUSSSS this one has a theme. yesss the theme is 1993.

its a loose theme. like some of us are wearing clothes that are 1993 and were bringing awkward first day of school pictures but were not gonna go to far. because well i just dont want to. but stil it should be quite excellent.


WHY 1993 you ask...
(heres just a few of the reasons)
walker texas ranger premiered. Boy meets world premiered. Power rangers priemered. The Cranberries Linger was at the top of the charts. &&& bill clinton was president.

So needless to say 1993 was a pretty awesome school. not to mention it was my first year of kindergarden and who doesnt want to act like a child.

Their a guest list and i have to go pick up a bunch of things when i run home friday but it should go well. the only difference is last time it was all my friends and this year its a few of my friends and wholeee bunch of sean shacketts friends cause its his birthday... so itll be a little harder to be a bitch but... you know me i always strive under pressure. lol

Lets talk baseball...

its never been so hard for me to go into a post season before. Although YES I am and even after last nights upset will continue to be a Yankees fan, it was different this year because every single one of my other favorite teams was going for it as well... sadly the phillies and the cubs were knocked out early on and i was forced to return to my beloved only to find them against the indians. and im not quite sure if every Yankees fan thought it would be a quick sweep before playing the redsox or not but i knew it would be a fight. The indians bullpen was strong, still is & im definitely looking forward to seeing it take on the red sox. & hopefully surpass them, because well. i just have no love for the sox.

anyways truth of the matter is i'll be sad to see joe go if he does. it was just be well weird. joe torre is a huge part of the yankees, although i do understand what hes saying. torre makes a lot of money to produce a winning team and he hasnt been doing it. but still its joe torre... i guess itll be interesting to see where he goes or what he does.... and who might follow him.

"You certainly can't ignore it. These fans are very special. They're certainly very special. I mean, you can feel their heartbeat," Torre said. "They know their stuff and they never quit on you."
to Joe Torre...

....

sorry for the lack of posting anything worth reading but ive been sick & busy... but this i just came across and had to post it.

im not even a complete democrat and im pissed. why?! because a WOMAN said this?!
shes nuts...

“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”

Thank you ann coulter... for reminding me why i vote..

just because i have so many reasons to dislike her

Listen to britt britt's latest single.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/394322617f8dfb/

this craptastic new song, make her seem even more creepy. in give me more. she sounds as though she is on the verge of going into a scream-o song. MOREEEEE. and in this song we have the sound of chains hitting, which is just creepy in itself.
Thank you britt britt for sucking again. i cant wait to hear this on the radio 15 times a day.

in other sad news i also discovered she is currently the number one download on itunes.
way to feed the monster people

Happy October..

The Latino and Puerto Rican Affairs Commission has loaned Eastern Connecticut State University their stamp collection in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Awareness Month. Please make your way through the Student Center to view this awesome collection. They will be on display until 5pm today.

That right there is why I love my school. how random

can you dig it?

so this past weekend was well one of the best weekends ever.
all this past week I was just really stressed out, and really tied.
I have been working really hard, I haven't missed one class & my all the grades
I have gotten back have been really good, so I was happy about that, buttttt.

Its hard to be going non-stop all week, every week & I kind of hit a boring week. I got paid thursday which was REALLY nice just because it was my first paycheck & it was rather large, so it was a relief to finally have it in my hand. As good as school is going I just at the point where im starting to miss my friends from home and as much as I love being here I kind of felt a need to see everyone again.

Friday I have no classes, or work so i figured I could get a head start on some english club stuff I have been procrastinating it was really good because I got a lot done.

Then at noon I got a text from my friend sean asking me if I wanted to see a favorite band of mine Megadeth in Providence... Obviously I said yes. So sarah and I went out and ran a few errands and sean & his friend came and picked me up.

The show was unbelievable. me & sean but his friend andy didn't want to so he just held our stuff and rocked out. It was seans first time in a pit so it was so unbelievabably amusing. I pushed him in and he just turned and looked at me with this what do i do look, but he rocked out.. haha. the downside.. I now have a broken toe. but it was really worth it.

After the show we drove back to eastern and Alec my good friend from home was up as well as my friend sam whoes from plainfield. Sean & andy came up for a while and met all my friends, and then they left.
alec, sam, all my roomates, and I just chilled and partied.

it was such a good night cause I got to see people that I had missed a lot. Since friday I have just relaxed.
this morning I woke up and I have a sore throat but im downing vitamin C so hopefully i'll feel better.

I suppose at least I am ready for the week now.

Today we will be exploring the importance of concert edict

....

Concert Edict...

this is in response to the unbelievable behavior I have seen throughout concert this summer...
Primarily for lawn people of hartford,ct yeah i know im a biased person.

1. If you bedtime is before the end of the concert, you SHOULD NOT be there, even if accompioned by a parent. No we will not quite down so your daughter can fall asleep.

2. If you are tailgating at a country concert, you should not be listening to rock, or rap music. That just makes no sense

3. Never ever ever puke on the lawn... if you suck at holding in your vomit, do it on your blanket, or bring a paper bag. Puking on the lawn is just embarassing.

4. If your mom and/or dad dropped you off, you should NOT be drinking to get drunk, you should be drinking to get buzzed and pray it wares off before mom and/or dad pick you up and BRING BREATHE MINTS

5. if you are under the age of 16 You should not be tailgating anyways.

6. Always wear underwear to a concert... i know i should have to say that one. but if you're drunk and dance or your boyfriend puts you up on his shoulders to see... wellll we all just dont want to see that. end of story

7. If you attend a concert, and you suddenly feel big & bad enough to enter a moshpit, please know that we are not 6 year olds who are just going to shove you around, we have aggression and plan to beat you up.. dont get angry when you get hit.. derrrr

8. Concerts are not fashion shows, so cowboy boots and the skimpy dress were a bad idea.

9. Lawn people are supposed to stick together, fights because the guy next you would rather chant about the redsox than the yankees post concert does not give you a reason to beat the shit out of him and stall the line to outside.

10. Why leave before the encoure, you're not getting home any faster... let it go.

11. Dont park in McDonalds you'll get towed.. geyyy

12. Do not pee on the lawn.. security will find you. and if you do, and get away with it please don't talk about it later. grosss

13. Singing along is one thing, but i did pay to see the band on stage....sorryyy

14. I am fully aware you are drunk.... please dance far away from me, i will not catch you if you fall.

15. No one likes the whalers... stop screaming about them after the concert.

16. Never do a bridge walk.. it equals intense rape scenario.

17. If you want to have a nice conversation, you can go get dinner in hartford... but attempting to talk mid-concert bad idea

18. If you BFFL Jill is unable to attend the concert, stay home and hang out with her, dont spend the whole damn concert texting the bitch... its soooo obnoxious to look around and see people texting and texting...

19. if you feel a fight with your boyfriend coming on within 48 hours of LEAVING for the concert, make it a girls night and save us the drama... i dont care if he was your ex-best friends beer pong partner... shuttupp and jamm.

20. CHAIRS should never be high. none of that fold up crap... blocks views. only beach chairs

21. IF your the idiot who caused the banning of blankets to some concerts because you were tosssing girls with them.. just die. end of story.

22. Your shoes should be on your feet through the entire tailgating, concert, walk back to the car experience..... broken glass, puke, piss... do you really want to step in that... i didnt think so

23. the poor man who plays trumpet has been sitting outside the gate since 1992 give the man a spare dime not a highfive you drunk idiot.. he cant buy beer with a highfive

24. the further you walk the cheaper the shirts and water gets... dont be a fool.

25. If you reallly really feel you need that next beer, but don't think you can make it to the stand without tripping over 40 people in the process do us a favor have your buddy go. and if your both to drunk.. you DONT NEED THAT OTHER BEER!

.....anyways thats all for now, just had to get that out

....my family + communication = no solution...

my grandfather passed away on tuesday, and ive been pretty upset about it the past few days. i was mad i was at school and not with my family etc. but nothing angers me more than the lack of communication in my family.

i finished classes today, but it was much to late to have taken the bus to get home, so i called a favor to a good friend to come get me at school so i could meet my sister at home and we could make the drive to new jersey to be with my family... but to be on my way home and find out that my dad and brother are home and my brother is going out. well that just makes me feel really stupid. i mean to have called my friend to come get me because i had no other way home says alot. especially considering he took the time to cancel his evening plans and make the the hour and fourty five minute ride to get me, but then to pull into my house and know that people are home probably sleeping on the couch or out. that just makes me feel really stupid. im just lucky i have good friends.

but then now im home and im sitting. if i was at school id be doing something right now. if i knew this was the plan i wouldnt have come home til early morning. it just kind of makes me angry that i ask again and again what i should do and what the plan is and i get 50 different answers from different people only to just be sitting on a couch watching some stupid fishing show.

i suppose i could do homework. but im so angry now its probably not possible.

not to mention all summer i wanted me & my mom to drive in my car to jersey, but she kept saying no because my car wouldnt be able to make the trip.. but when im not home and i show up and see that shes taken my car, .... well thats just a smack in the face... if you wanted to inadvertantly tell me you don't like driving with me you did an excellent job.

i hate being so upset with my family seeing as how awkward the next few days will be. but ive just been having a hard couple of months and im not one to show emotion to anyone but myself. so although i know everyone will be mad at me for not crying once in front of them. im quite alright with it.

Pop-Pop 9112007 forever in my heart

So live like you mean it && love to you feel it.

I had intro to social work last night, by far my best class this semester, not to mention the only one i can remotly sit through without intensly fidgeting.... the downside.. this woman gets worse every freaking week!!. yesterday we all set down and to our wonderous && happy suprise she did not show up for class. well a half hour into it she struts in and announces she is so late cause her daugters sick... my guess is she is dead because someone told 50 cent she said he was ugly and killed her... anyways 20 minutes later her phone rang and the teacher answered it cause thats what he does.... and then at the end of class she wanted to know if we prefered cookies or brownies because she wanted make somethign for the next class....

huh?! thats funny i could have sworn i was in college....strange..

but on that note. i was reading the times earlier this week and came across and article on healthy eating in schools. i remember when i was a senior and we were calling my atheletic director a cupcake nazi for wanting to band sugary snacks and now his idea of how eating in school seems to have become quite common. Now i for one am not going to lie to myself and say obesity in america is not a problem, nor am i going to say that we shouldnt take action to do all that we can to prevent it. but heres where i draw the line. elementary schools. i am not saying don't update the lunch menus so that the kids aren't eating undercooked pizza, but one of the BEST parts of elementary school is that you celebrate every holiday from christmas to ground hogs day and if you can't bring in cupcakes or other treats you're taking away part of being a kid. what the heck do room parents do now-a-days. it jsut upsets me. i mean were killing the idea of being a youth with all this technology and these parents who are just giving spoiling them or forcing them to grow up to quickly but taking away something so simple as bringing in cookies on your birthday is just another step to taking away childhood altogether.
and I am sure many of you think i sound stupid. but if you're so into your life that you can't sit back and remember how excited you were because the room mom's were bringing in candy for halloween and you were going to go fake tricker treating in school or because i was your birthday and everyone was excited because your mom made the best cupcakes then you need a vacation from work to disney...
VIVA LA CHILDHOOD.

sorry but im a kid advocate. kids are the future.

conflict of interest...

so yesterday I had my first day of Intro to Social Work. I stepped into class and had to take 12 different packets of information. The class will be a lot of work but it looks really interesting.
The first few minutes of class the teacher defined social work for us, he is a loud man, with a really captivating voice which will make the class more interesting considering its 3 hours and an 5 minute break somewhere in between.
In the middle of discussing social work he asks a question whats a huge part of being able to be a social worker. A woman sitting in the front of the class raises her hand and says being able to network. The teacher jokingly says you mean like being hooked up to you myspace.. the woman tells him he is fresh, asks him how old he is (he replys 30) and she says well im turning 50 so were going to clash a lot.

EXCCUSE ME?! i would have kicked her out right then... but we move on...

not even 10 minutes later the teacher (dr. thompson) calls on a girl... she looks around nervously and we all just look back because its the first day of class so staring isnt awkward yet.. and the woman from the previous incident goes OH NO DON'T CALL ON HER SHES MY 16 year old DAUGHTER........

you brought your daughter to the first day of class...??? why and if she is their shove her in the back with a sign that says dont call on my not front row with a notebook and pen to help you take notes!!!!
the class moves on..

We have the choice of either doing a 20 minute present or taking the final. So were discussing the posibilites and what were allowed to have and he says that we can have a guest speaker as long as it is approved and he gives an example of what would be approved... 50 cent if you were talking about the ghetto... so he asks who is 50 cent and the womans daughter raises her hand and tells us he was shot a few times... then starts giggling uncontrollably and the woman tells her to just say whats on her mind. soo then about 2 minutes later while we wait for her to stop laughing she finally tells us ............... hes ugly..

thank god you took time out of my lecture for that......

So then we go over the next part of the class. We are all required to 20 hours of community service with a social work position. so he then goes over dress code... no flip flops no shirts with inapropriate things because your representing him and the university... so then he says no booty shorts and asks someone to tell a kid in the front who has a dumbfounded look on his face what booty shorts are. so the girl next to me says they are really short shorts that your butt usually hangs out of.. then the old woman says they usually go in a V and our teacher gives her a look... so we spend 2 minutes of her ranting about how she lost 110 pounds so she'll wear what she wants....

ohkkk... moving on...

Its the end of class and its in discussion time. he gives us situations and we have to figure out how to help the people. my group discusses a few possibilities and we pick a group leader... she stands up and says we believe the mom should give up the children to DCF and get her feet back on the ground and then take her children back.

THE WOMAN stands up because it HAS to be her turn now then stares my group leader down and says NEVER EVER EVER promote DCF i had cancer and i almost lost my family and blah blah blah dcf is not the answer. she then gives her answer which is okay but its not much better than anyone elses in the class but the teacher can't even say anything because how do you respond to that.

So in closing of the class the teacher tells us our homework and the woman is like i would jsut like to say something ...staring at certain people in the class. SOCIAL WORK IS NOT FOR EVERYONE IT IS VERY HARD....

well.. lets just say I cant wait for next week

Hey Jude, begin, your waiting for someone to perform with.

My urban geography class will be the best class i have ever taken, my professor is french has a very thick accent and well its arch-itekture and he couldn't remember the word bisexual and when he remembered he was quite pleased with himself. and then he couldn't figure out the word for stadium he was like you know lots of seats, watching something. it was amusing...

my psychology class should be equally excellent. im quite excited... but its because of their passion about what they do that i am so interested.. i wish i could feel passion like that about something. when you have it's like impossible to hide. its a thing of beauty...

i think my new major is going to either be social work, or sociology with a minor in urban geography. we'll see i have to research it first.

ahh the joys of major changing.


The average college student will change their major 5 times before qraduating..

THATS ONE.

amused by coworkers.

woman dies from camel who was in heat

and her response to this is...

im just going to start calling men and telling them i need to come over because im in "heat"

johns response they'd probably just tell you to turn on a fan.

all moved in..

One of the perks of taking this job was that i get to move in like 4 days early and so far it has paid off pretty nicely i have gotten all my stuff in, got to pick my side of the room, unpack all my shit in peace. but the downside is im now stuck on campus with a bunch of meandering freshman and their all to eager to look around parents... and no its not okay and knock on my door to see HOW I SET UP MY ROOM!?!?!? ... mehh oh well.

i have from 3.30 to seven. dinner & tv. in the morning im driving home cause i have kenny chesney and then i have to come back up sunday with everyone else. im pretty excited about it.

i would just like to take this time to salute the guy who hardwired my room for internet.. its a college dorm for two people and he installed one ethernet cable hook up. do you think the university would let me write off a router for my room.?

Can anyone tell me what im doing here.... PLEASE!

i got this job as an OA (office assistant for those of you who are not up on lingo from ecsu) thinking that it would help me become more scheduled and be able to handle my work load better etc.

inevitably i just seeing it being another thing i dont look forward to doing.

i live in noble hall.. its a mere stumble from the bar... which is not important because im under age but its nice because i have a kitchen in this dorm.. but it also happens to be down a LARGE.. and by large i mean its not so bad except if its really hot, really cold, or windy or raining. or well anything ... and last year i was ALL ABOUT THIS. but in retrospect.. i am very stupid. and one of two things will happen because of it. me & the shuttle guys will become so close other shuttle rides will secretly begin to believe that mr. shuttle driver is cheating on mrs. shuttle driver and sleeping with me. or i will be in really good shape by the end of the year... ... number one didnt seem to bad did it?!

lists of things i have sworn off but will inevitably end up doing anyway for the semester::
1.drinking excessively
2.taking the shuttle up the large hill
3.becoming so close to the dominoes boy from ordering so much we have an almost relationship
4. naming anyone turbo... or becoming friends with anyone who calls themselves turbo in a drunk or sober state
5. skip classes

shouldnt be to hard.. but this is me were talking about..