...

some days im so numb i wonder if their really is blood moving through my veins.

do you know what it feels like to not feel at all... its painful

i start on zoloft tomorrow. please god let this help.

Me & Sean

So i met this kid at girlscout camp when i was 16. and he was amazing . and then i liked him for just about 4 years. we have been the best of friends, literally.. hes always been there when i needed him & we've always had this chemistry. But he never liked me .. like that. so i just stopped mentioning that i liked him and was just as happy to have him as a friend. this past weekend he came to visit me at school. and it was such weird timing because i was like on the verge of giving up on him. and then.. it happened. and it was perfect. like beyond perfect.
i was in my room cleaning some stuff up so people could come in and hang out in there and he walks in and hes like you know i love you right? and im like of course i know, and i love you too and he goes. no like i love you claire and i want to be with you....

and i turned around and proceeded to lay on my bed & cry a little and as him to not fck with me like that. and mid-babble he was like claire just shut up and kiss me.

it was like a movie. but better. and now were together. && truthfully i dont know if this is going to work or not because hes a half hour away and we only see each other on weekends but im willing to jump and take this chance and he is to. and im happy about it. and i hope it lasts a while.

im not completely happy with my life. but im in the process of fixing it. so i can really enjoy the whole me & sean thing.

i just. its good. it is good.

1993...

This weekend I am going to pull of another one of my.. how did you get so many people in here and keep the noise down so you don't get in trouble... parties.

Im rather excited about it. why? well the last one was alecs birthday so its been a while since I was even allowed to pull something like this off. PLUSSSS this one has a theme. yesss the theme is 1993.

its a loose theme. like some of us are wearing clothes that are 1993 and were bringing awkward first day of school pictures but were not gonna go to far. because well i just dont want to. but stil it should be quite excellent.


WHY 1993 you ask...
(heres just a few of the reasons)
walker texas ranger premiered. Boy meets world premiered. Power rangers priemered. The Cranberries Linger was at the top of the charts. &&& bill clinton was president.

So needless to say 1993 was a pretty awesome school. not to mention it was my first year of kindergarden and who doesnt want to act like a child.

Their a guest list and i have to go pick up a bunch of things when i run home friday but it should go well. the only difference is last time it was all my friends and this year its a few of my friends and wholeee bunch of sean shacketts friends cause its his birthday... so itll be a little harder to be a bitch but... you know me i always strive under pressure. lol

Lets talk baseball...

its never been so hard for me to go into a post season before. Although YES I am and even after last nights upset will continue to be a Yankees fan, it was different this year because every single one of my other favorite teams was going for it as well... sadly the phillies and the cubs were knocked out early on and i was forced to return to my beloved only to find them against the indians. and im not quite sure if every Yankees fan thought it would be a quick sweep before playing the redsox or not but i knew it would be a fight. The indians bullpen was strong, still is & im definitely looking forward to seeing it take on the red sox. & hopefully surpass them, because well. i just have no love for the sox.

anyways truth of the matter is i'll be sad to see joe go if he does. it was just be well weird. joe torre is a huge part of the yankees, although i do understand what hes saying. torre makes a lot of money to produce a winning team and he hasnt been doing it. but still its joe torre... i guess itll be interesting to see where he goes or what he does.... and who might follow him.

"You certainly can't ignore it. These fans are very special. They're certainly very special. I mean, you can feel their heartbeat," Torre said. "They know their stuff and they never quit on you."
to Joe Torre...

....

sorry for the lack of posting anything worth reading but ive been sick & busy... but this i just came across and had to post it.

im not even a complete democrat and im pissed. why?! because a WOMAN said this?!
shes nuts...

“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”

Thank you ann coulter... for reminding me why i vote..

just because i have so many reasons to dislike her

Listen to britt britt's latest single.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/394322617f8dfb/

this craptastic new song, make her seem even more creepy. in give me more. she sounds as though she is on the verge of going into a scream-o song. MOREEEEE. and in this song we have the sound of chains hitting, which is just creepy in itself.
Thank you britt britt for sucking again. i cant wait to hear this on the radio 15 times a day.

in other sad news i also discovered she is currently the number one download on itunes.
way to feed the monster people

Happy October..

The Latino and Puerto Rican Affairs Commission has loaned Eastern Connecticut State University their stamp collection in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Awareness Month. Please make your way through the Student Center to view this awesome collection. They will be on display until 5pm today.

That right there is why I love my school. how random